Mittens rejecting one of the 47%
At least this baby’s presumed stench is constrained by her diaper. Willard wears his on his sleeve.
“I hate to say this, but if Ryan wants to run for national office again, he’ll probably have to wash the stench of Romney off of him.” –Craig Robinson, former political director of the Republican Party of Iowa.
A photographic moment that Matt Taibbi might call Mitt’s “cinematic douchiness.”
“Sorry, my friend, but there’s not time to snore. An out of touch millionaire just declared war On schools, the environment, unions, fair pay. We’re all on our way if Romney has his way. He’s against safety nets. If you fall, tough luck. So I strongly suggest, that you wake the fuck up.“ Credit for the video apparently goes to …
Gall Street— where four years ago, 40% of the world’s wealth disappeared.
Original
GALL STREET — No, money never sleeps on Gall Street, but not for the same reasons Mitt Romney never sleeps. Six words: His power cell is fucking awesome. You may have noticed that, even after a very cocky week of stepping on his own willy again and again and again and again, Mitt Romney just keeps on going.
Some say that’s just the nature of mendacious automatons. It’s what they do. But what makes that so alienating is, we’ll never be able to convince them to take personal responsibility and care for their central motor chips.
As a mendacious automaton, Mitt “I didn’t ask you a question” Romney simply has no peer on Gall Street, or Main Street. He can inelegantly articulate more lies and miss more social cues in a half hour of the news cycle than Gilligan Paul R’ayn did in his entire stint in the hell-hole that is the socialist government-paid-for brain-washing college.
But it’s Mitt’s recalcitrant genetic programing as a natural born, sneering plutocrat that will steal your hard working, entitlement-loving American heart; as well as your “entitlement” to inspected food, nanny-government-regulated shelter, for-profit healthcare, and seriously— whatever else you think should be in that “95% Of Life Is Set Up For You If You’re Born In This Country” dream you have.
Although we recently reported on Romney’s likely failure to get past a mere ten questions in the Voight-Kaamff test, it’s gosh darn clear that Rombot is “special.” He definitely doesn’t have a four year political lifespan; he’s been running for CEO of America for at least seven years, maybe even since his whimsical scissor-wielding days in prep-bot school. And:
He can DREAM BIG.
Bigger than you shiftless leeching 47 percenters.
So yeah.
Rich.
Famous.
Galling.
With a very expensive dream, closer than ever to actually coming true.
And guess who’s going to pay for it.
Not the Plutocrats.
Mitt Romney moving Joe Scarborough to tears
Politico’s chief political reporter Robert Simon wrote yesterday that…
Paul Ryan has gone rogue. He is unleashed, unchained, off the hook.
“I hate to say this, but if Ryan wants to run for national office again, he’ll probably have to wash the stench of Romney off of him,” Craig Robinson, a former political director of the Republican Party of Iowa, told The New York Times on Sunday.
Though Ryan had already decided to distance himself from the floundering Romney campaign, he now feels totally uninhibited. Reportedly, he has been marching around his campaign bus, saying things like, “If Stench calls, take a message” and “Tell Stench I’m having finger sandwiches with Peggy Noonan and will text him later.”
Is this an insight into the fractured mindset of the Romney campaign? The latest set of polls, taken in the wake of the devastating 47% tape, show Obama widening his lead over Romney in key swing states, 10 points in the critical state of Ohio alone. In two nationwide polls, Quinipac has Obama up by 10, and the Washington Post by 8 . Plenty reason for the the rats aboard the USS Romney to begin abandoning ship.
Or is Simon’s account a lame attempt at satire? So argues a former colleague of his, detailed in this Bloomberg piece by Tobin Harshaw:
As Ben Smith of Buzzfeed, a former Politico blogger, tweeted: “So uh a lot of people seem not to have picked up that @politicoroger’s column was satire.” Put more succinctly by conservative blogger JammieWearingFool: “Satire should actually be funny.”
Or, at least it should be pretty obvious. There is no underestimating the literal-mindedness of the American reader: Years ago when I worked at the Times we published a satirical op-ed column by Steve Martin riffing on the idea that a NASA Mars probe had discovered millions of kittens on the Red Planet. Shortly thereafter, a subscriber sent a terse letter to the editor asking us to “inform your science correspondent” that the lack of oxygen on Mars made kitten infestation highly unlikely.
Naturally, no writer wants to put a blinking sign indicating “This Is a Joke” above his or her parody piece. But editors should realize that if there is even a chance that such a sign is necessary, it’s probably best to spike the whole idea. Otherwise, you might end up fooling a lot of people, maybe even a Nobel Prize winner.
Well, it’s been a day and a half since Simon posted his article and so far no mea culpas. Having indulged in a little (?) satire ourselves here at US, we heartily support its use. But Politico ain’t no Daily Show. It has, since its inception, determinedly built its brand as serious mainstream Village insiders. So satire in this case seems unlikely.
[Update: 1:25 PM PST: Simon has apparently added an “Author’s Note” that indicates he was, in fact, being satirical.]
CW has it that the current weak state of the economy should allow any competent GOP ticket to take back the White House. Same goes for the Senate, especially given the disparate number of Democratic seats up for grabs. But a Romney fail will take a lot of down-ticket candidates with him, putting even the House in play. If these polls hold up, the suppressed contempt for Romney amongst Ryan’s Teabagger base will come roaring back to the surface.
In the video clip above, that chanting your hear for Ryan in the background is like the first scraping sounds the crew and passengers heard when the Titantic hit the iceberg that took it to a watery grave. Here’s hoping that the MSM throws the Romney an anvil instead of a life preserver.
Replicant Romney struggles to pass a Voight-Kampff empathy test “Forty-seven percent of Americans pay no income tax. So our message of low taxes doesn’t connect. And he’ll be out there talking about tax cuts for the rich. I mean that’s what they sell every four years. And so my job is not to worry about those people—I’ll never convince them …
The embodiment of clueless detachment, W., stares out his unopenable window as New Orleans drowns in Hurrican Katrina
Unfreaking believable. From the LA Times:
During a Saturday fundraiser in Beverly Hills, Calif., which took in $6 million, Mitt Romney expressed his concerns over Ann Romney’s emergency landing on Friday. The candidate cast doubt on the mechanical design of airplane windows, in a general sense.
“When you have a fire in an aircraft, there’s no place to go, exactly, there’s no — and you can’t find any oxygen from outside the aircraft to get in the aircraft, because the windows don’t open. I don’t know why they don’t do that. It’s a real problem. So it’s very dangerous….” he said.
Romney’s idea doesn’t work scientifically, as one blogger on Dailykos explains:
“It’d be like the mile-high club for Seamus, with the added benefit of asphyxiation induced by the low oxygen levels at cruising altitude — assuming that you manage to avoid having the plane rip apart due to the sudden loss of cabin pressure.”
Also, too: Terrarists, How they would love not having to stuff their shoes or underwear with C-4 Just take a window seat, and when the time comes, jimmy it open. Shortly thereafter, seventy virgins will appear.
Ya know, I’d always credited Mittens with an above average IQ, him having graduated from Harvard with a dual law/MBA degree and all. But this story has to make you wonder. Consider this his W.’s Katrina and Poppy Bush’s supermarket scanner moment, all rolled into one.
Mitt Romney’s attempt to satisfy the White Horse Prophecy is going up in flames.
